if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
