Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
