If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
