They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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