he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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