There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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