Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
