the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Found your dick twin last night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
