stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
