So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
