Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
