wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
