oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
