it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
