you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
