well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
FUCK WHALES
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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