Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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