Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
