just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
