and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
