so that wasnt chicken after all
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
