Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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