I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
God, I missed his penis.
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