after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Houston, we have a blender
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
