The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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