dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
There are leaves in my underwear?
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