this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
