She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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