im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
