I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
