i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
3pm strippers are depressing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
