Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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