Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
