I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
