haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it was like eating out sand paper
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
