why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
