Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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