I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
