Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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