just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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