but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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