Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize