we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize