i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
