the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
