the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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