i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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