I just made out with a guy for $7.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
