You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize