Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize