I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize