What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
