Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize