did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
