Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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