there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
