I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
