Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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