...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Drunk is a universal language darling
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
