I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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