naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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