No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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