She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
