I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize