i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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