If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
